Tension is like a silent assassin.
Ever wondered why you’re weak even though you’re giving it your best in all areas of life?
This is it.
Today, I’ll show you how tension looks.
And with that awareness, you’ll be able to get rid of this silent energy drain.
It’s time to free your emotions and elevate your energy to the next level.
TENSION OF UNMET NEEDS
This tension stems from our ego.
More specifically, it’s our ego’s view of how the world and people should be, including ourselves.
Anything that isn’t happening as we would want it to happen creates this tension.
It might be the standards of behavior we falsely impose on our closed ones and other people.
It might be the set of values and principles of other people that conflicts with our own.
Basically, we’re selfish pricks who want the world to be how we want it to be.
Also we’re arrogant pricks who can’t appreciate the differences of people.
I was like this.
We’re also impatient and greedy who want everything more and more, faster and faster.
Here are a few more examples of needs we impose on ourselves:
- Desiring the “perfect” physique
- Desiring more attention
- Desiring higher status
- Desiring the ideal life we imagine for ourselves
You might say, what the heck is wrong with having these desires?
There’s nothing wrong with these desires by themselves.
The problem is where these desires originate from.
If they originate from the needs of your ego, it means that you’re in a state of lack.
You’re stuck in the scarcity mindset.
You feel incomplete.
You are desperate even if you don’t know it.
But your body knows it.
And you cells know it.
They feel this lack.
Your body is full of tension.
You might not have felt it until now, but you should be able to feel it now because you’re finally aware of this tension.
The tension was always there. Sometimes very intense, sometimes less, but it was always there… floating within your veins.
GET IT OUT OF MEEEE
The way to free yourself of this tension is to create some fundamental changes in your mindset.
One way to do it is by becoming aware of your ego’s pull and create boundaries so that you’re in control of your ego and not vice-versa.
By being in control, I mean you’re using the ego’s energy when necessary and shutting ego down when not.
But this is kind of difficult to master especially if you don’t have experience with meditation, mindfulness and deep self-awareness.
So let’s take a more general approach.
There’s two things I want you to focus on until they become a part of you. If you integrate these two things in your psyche and heart, you’ll be able to overcome this tension.
You might be able to understand and feel the realization right now, but that won’t be enough.
You have to remind yourself of these things over and over again until you rewire your brain’s neurological network and synapses.
You have to change your default thinking system through repetition.
1. Patience vs. Impatience
You’ve heard this a thousand times and I probably don’t need to talk about this too.
Just know that impatience stems from the need of your ego. It is trying to fill its need as soon as possible.
And it is making you impatient as well.
There’s nothing here to say more than to constantly remind yourself that everything worthwhile takes time.
Remind yourself of this fact every single day until it becomes ingrained in your brain.
Read about the virtue of patience every time you feel impatient.
This will also provide you with motivation to keep working and improving.
2. Abundance vs. Scarcity mindset
In simplest terms, scarcity mindset makes you think that resources (be it money, food, power, even attention and emotions) are very limited.
This makes you impatient and it makes you greedy.
Also, it makes you behave out of the feeling of lack.
You’re desperate to gain whatever your ego needs to look better, to feel better, to feel safe and more powerful than others.
It’s a me versus others mentality.
Life is a constant struggle and this struggle creates tension within you.
To override the scarcity mindset, you have to employ gratitude.
When you’re grateful for something, you’re focused on something you have, something which is fulfilled and makes you joyful.
This is the direct opposite to the feeling of lack and need.
Be grateful for being alive. Be grateful for having your senses so that you can sense the world and beauty around you.
The whole world works in unison so that we can live. Your job is just to be happy and share the life and love with others around you.
Move out of the selfish state of desperate scarcity and enter the selfless life of love and service.
You will never fill yourself with your ego’s desires because it’s endless. You’ll always stay in the scarcity mindset.
The only way to truly be fulfilled and enter the state of abundance is through gratitude.
After you employ gratitude, you can share the joy and love to other people.
Instead of being focused on me and me, you can start helping out other people.
Once you start serving other people through love, you will tap into an immense energy pool because love is the most powerful force.
TENSION BETWEEN EMOTION AND THOUGHTS
No ego talk here I promise.
This tension is much easier to feel.
If the first type of tension was the conflict between your desires versus unfulfilled desires, then this tension is the conflict between your own emotions versus your own thoughts.
This is the clash of your feelings and thoughts.
The clash between what you think you should do and what you feel you want to do.
Thinking vs feeling.
Should vs. want.
We struggle with this conflict every day.
I should exercise but I don’t want to.
I should do some more work on my project, but I don’t feel like it.
I should wake up now, but I really want to sleep a bit more.
Every time you’re conflicted between what you think you should do and what you feel you’d rather do, your emotions are in a state of intense tension.
And this tension slashes on your energy reserves.
Chop, chop, chop.
So, how can I overcome this tension?
You don’t have to force yourself.
It’s liberating right?
Can you feel the tension already easing away?
You see… discipline is kind of overrated.
Yes I said it.
Discipline is overrated.
If you’re performing through discipline, you’re not really happy and enjoying every single moment.
And you know it.
You should be overflowing with excitement, motivation, joy, energy and love every day.
Not forcing it one day at a time hoping that sometime in the future you will be enjoying the fruits of your labor.
I want to be happy now. And tomorrow and forever.
And not just happy, but super excited about being productive and doing work that matters.
For this to happen, you have to be aware of your current state of energy and capabilities.
And with this self-awareness you can learn to do less and eventually do more over time.
The tension between thoughts and emotions arises when we overextend.
We try to force ourselves to do more than we’re capable of currently.
For example, you have a goal to be able to run 5 miles. To achieve this goal ASAP, you’re running 2 miles every day even though what your body is currently capable of is 1 mile per day to prevent over-training and burn-out. You still manage to run for a few days but then you burn-out and hate running for a week. Then you return to running again but you repeat the same mistake by running 2 miles and overextending your performance.
What you should do instead is start with less and build up gradually.
Start with a distance that you would enjoy running.
This is the only way to create sure progress and enjoy the process.
Doing less paradoxically helps you to do more. Taking a slower and more enjoyable approach also helps you to achieve your goals sooner.
Instead of pushing through with discipline, you should strive to be pulled by motivation.
Once you align what you should do with what you want to do, work will become effortless.
For this alignment to happen you have to:
- Be clear on your priorities
- Be filled with motivation, instead of forcing yourself
- Start with less and build up gradually
- And most importantly, you must maintain above-average level of health and energy. (The reason is that when you’re physically tired, you don’t have the energy to do the things you should do. Instead, you turn into your weak self and do whatever your weak self does.)
NO MORE TENSION, OK?
If you’ve read all the way to here, you’re freaking awesome.
Not many have the desire to tackle these challenges to get to the next level. You’re one of the rare ones that do.
Tension is a really subtle energy drain, but once you’re aware of it, you can feel it easily.
Next time you feel a conflict within yourself, stop and think whether it’s one of the two tensions we talked about today.
Let me just give you a quick outline:
- FIRST TENSION: UNMET NEEDS
- HOW TO OVERCOME? BE PATIENT. BE GRATEFUL AND LOVING. DON’T BE IMPATIENT AND DON’T BE STUCK IN THE SCARCITY MINDSET.
- SECOND TENSION: EMOTIONS VS THOUGHTS
- HOW TO OVERCOME? START WITH LESS BASED ON YOUR CURRENT CAPABILITIES. DON’T OVER-STRAIN YOURSELF. DON’T FORCE YOURSELF, INSTEAD EMPLOY MOTIVATION. MAINTAIN ABOVE-AVERAGE PHYSICAL ENERGY.
Now you have the awareness and the tools to deal with the tension.
Use it to elevate yourself to the next level of joy and energy.
Remember that you have to remind yourself of these things over and over again so that they become a part of your default thinking process. So copy the outline to your note-keeping app or your power boards and read them every day, especially when you feel the tension.